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Two of Us

Sometimes, the preconceived notions peopleInternet. Eventually, we each made our
have in their heads about twins really get mechoices.
steaming. Just because I shared a dark
cramped space with some random embryo forAs luck would have it, Jessica's visit
nine months does not automatically mean thatcoincided with the "Whole Enchilada Fiesta,"
I wish to go on living on top of her for thea world-famous (note above-mentioned injured
rest of my days. No, Jessica and Robyntongue firmly in cheek), three-day
(that's me), don't get along so well. Yes,celebration of southwest traditions, people
we're frighteningly identical in appearance,and great food. Being a chef, Jessica thought
but there's very little we agree on otherit might be interesting to witness the making
than that it's best for us live on oppositeof what the Guinness Book of World Records
ends  of  the  country.considers to be the largest enchilada on
planet earth. I had never attended the event
For the most part, we've managed to keep ourbefore, and I have to admit, I was somewhat
lives pretty separate - Jessica is a chef inintrigued.
Montpellier, Vermont and I'm a professor at
New Mexico State University in Las Cruces,I parked the controversial Pontiac G6 and we
New Mexico. Every now and then however, wemade our way through the crowd to watch the
succumb to this bizarre call of our mutualaction. What can I say - 250 lb. of masa
genes and schedule adough, 100 lb. of corn, 50 gallons of
let's-try-this-one-more-time get together. Tovegetable oil, 12 lb. of grated cheese, 10
keep things verging on fair, we alternatelb. of chopped onions, a tow truck, and 14
between  the  Southwest  and  the  Northeast.sweaty men do make for a spectacle. At one
point, Jessica and I exchanged looks and fell
I pulled up proudly curbside at Las Crucesabout in an uncontrollable fit of laughter
International Airport (yes to all youthat seemed to dissolve years of open
naysayers, our little town does indeedhostilities.
feature one of these), in my brand new
Pontiac G6 convertible. And that's when theNext it was my turn. Back in the G6 and a
bickering began. Jessica disapproved of meshort drive to El Paso with our hair in the
driving around the Southwest with my hairwind and reconciliation in our souls.
flailing about - she actually referred to itDestination? El Paso Zoo for an afternoon
as promiscuous - and she was put out that ifwith the elephants. Ever since I saw the
she had brought her husband and three kids,"Jungle Book" when I was a tot, I've been
we would have had a space issue. Naturally Itotally elephant obsessed. I have a
apologized profusely and promised to purchasecollection of elephantalia that approaches
a Pontiac Torrent for her next visit. Thingsthe ridiculous. Anyway, we arrived at El Paso
were  going  swimmingly.Zoo in fabulous spirit and proceeded to have
a whale of an afternoon (if you'll excuse the
After releasing my self-mutilated tongue fromexpression), eating popcorn and worshipping
between my clenched teeth, I suggested a newelephants.
approach. Why not call a ceasefire and each
choose an activity of personal interest thatBy the time we returned from El Paso to my
might serve to educate each other as to whatlittle house in Las Cruces, we were getting
makes us tick. This of course led to a bit ofon like a house on fire. We spent the evening
a scrap over the virtues of my iPhone versusdrinking Margarita's (invented in El Paso I
her BlackBerry as we scrambled to researchmight add), and making outrageously raucous
the possibilities for the day via thetoasts to enchiladas and elephants.



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